Batter Up…….
My doctor previously brought me in every 6 months for checkups, but now has started every 3 months. I try to always take my husband with me if possible because 4 ears are much better than 2. I like all people who have had cancer get a little anxious on the day of the test. Since I have had bladder cancer twice already he orders a CT and then the other tests they do I know the results instantly.
I recently went in and I hear the doctor tell my husband there it is. I immediately ask did you find something again. He replied saying yes there is one tumor this time. After the exam, I questioned the doctor as to why this was happening so often. He explained to me that unfortunately, I seemed to be one of the people that are high risk which is why I am bringing you in for testing more often. We set the time for my surgery and we headed home. It was that awkward silence all the way home while I digested this and how I was going to fit it into our schedule once again.
As a Christian I fight this battle, I don’t want to accept and confess this is my normal. I don’t want to be in denial either. How do I walk in faith in all this? Where is that fine line drawn?
All afternoon I was pondering this when all of a sudden I had an epiphany that helped me. It helped me and I hope it helps others as they walk this same road. This is my ball game in the game of life. Every time I go to the doctor I need to look at it like a ball game and it is my time. Batter up…….
Sometimes I go up and I hear the noise hey batter batter…. Swing batter batter trying to steal my peace. In a cancer’s patient mind, the noise comes from something yelling at you what if??? Sometimes I hit a home run where all tests are good. Sometimes, I strike out and face surgery. The good thing is as long as I am still in the rotation and coming up to bat it is all good. I am still in the game.
I always tell our people there is an upside to everything. Sometimes you have to look hard to find it. I just found my upside. I am playing on the best team around. I have the best coach ever. Every time I get to play I get better and stronger. I have determined I am going to live my life knowing as long as I keep coming up to bat, I am still in the game.
